white poison industries

Okay…I’ve been in town a month, and  just want to do a general update on WTF I’m doing moving back to Des Moines.  I have to do this fast and furious because I’ve started like 12 posts, and written pages and pages of stuff you all don’t want or need to read.  So this is the short version, and I hope it might be helpful/insightful for someone.  I will say, there isn’t a story or any of my normal fun side-tracks.  This is a state of the union address about moving home.  I just want to warn you, in case you don’t give a shit about my union, in which case, go read something else. 

1.  The best part of being back is reconnecting with people.  I really do love my friends and family, and am glad to be with them again. The only odd part is that everyone has their own life and schedule that I’m trying to assimilate to.  For example, I’ve only seen one of my friends once in the month I’ve been back.  I’ve had to adjust to not being the main attraction.  I know that sounds conceited, but when I would visit, I’d go from one person to another and see every one multiple times because we had to store up time together before I went away again. Now, we don’t have to do that.  It’s different, but really nice.

2.  I miss having my own place.  I love my parents, and they are being wonderful.  But I struggle with feeling like a mooch and with trying to maintain my independence while contributing to the household.  Also, my room is small.  Really small!

3. I still don’t have a job.  There is apart of me doesn’t want one.  That’s horrifically honest, because I know I need one, but if money weren’t a necessity, I would never feel the need to go to a “job” again.  I would still be working hard, doing things. Even now, I’m up at 7 most days, working on projects. It’s just that without a job, the projects are, and would be, whatever has my interest at that moment.  I think I need an independently wealthy husband to provide me with the lifestyle I’d like to become accustomed to.

I’m joking about the wealthy husband.  I’m don’t want someone else to take care of me. I’d be a terrible trophy wife. Besides, I like working. I get restless and agitated when I’m not contributing something. That’s the part of me that DOES want a job. Besides, the world runs on money, so I need a job, and I know I shouldn’t be picky right now.  But I am, a little, but for good reason. I can be a workaholic, and if I get a job that encourages that, I could go right back to where I was, defining myself by my job. I don’t want that. So I want a job where I earn enough to live, where I can leave work at work, and with hours that will allow me to make other things a higher priority.  I want to volunteer, see my friends and family, engage in the community, and most importantly; I want to have time to seek out new ventures.

4. I’m thinking very seriously about opening my own business.  Before I say more, this would be one of the new ventures and is not subject to job want list from the previous paragraph. If I thought I could start a business and meet any of those three criteria, I’d be an idiot.   Disclaimer done.

Starting my own business means I have to learn about business.  I need to get a solid idea.  I need to work out a business plan and do market research.  I need to get my finances in order and about a million other things. I’m taking baby steps. For example, for the next two weeks, I’ll be taking a class with a financial planner about women and their finances.  If it’s worth hearing about, I’ll do a post.

What will my business be?  I don’t want to put a label on it, but I’d be a free lance designer/coordinator.  I want a office/shop with rich colors, exposed brick walls, and a lot of natural light.  I would offer a wide range of services.  Personal styling, event planning, consulting, whatever.  I would like to work equally with people throwing parties (weddings, birthdays, reunions, etc) and artists or organizations hosting events and bringing attention to their causes. It’s taken me forever, but I’ve figured out that what I want to do is help people express themselves and their causes in a joyful, beautiful, and creative way.  Preferably while making enough money to pay bills, have a little fun, and start a retirement fund. That’d be good.

This won’t happen tomorrow.  I need training, experience, and a decent economy before I go full time.  I need to be on good footing financially.  I need to know that people believe in and support my vision and goals.  And not just my friends and family who always love and support me, but people who will use my services and pay me money. Amazingly, it always comes down to money.  In an effort to move forward, I resolve to give things a try, do it part time, volunteer if necessary, and gain insight and experience.  So if you have something you’d like help with or if you are an entrepreneur who would like a free cup of coffee as you’re pestered with questions from a girl with big ideas, let me know.  My email is artschick@gmail.com.

5. I’m trying to be more adventurous.  When I want to do something, I go do it.  I hike in the woods, go to films, go see bands, window shop, crash a wedding (yep, I crashed a wedding last week, post to follow soon). Previously, doing something “just because” wasn’t a reason to do something, so I’d keep to myself. But now, “just because” is a great answer. It’s helping me interact with the city and meet new people.  I’m a bit of a hermit by nature, and can be very shy until I get to know you. Pushing myself to do these things is a huge accomplishment.

6. I have new hobbies.  First, there’s the bike extravaganza.  I’m still learning to ride.  You’ll see more posts about that I promise. Just know I’m really am still trying.  Two, I’ve started reading for pleasure again.  I always forget how much I love reading until I get back to it. Third, I’ve been drinking way too much coffee and finding which coffee houses are the best.  If you have suggestions, let me know, cause I haven’t found a favorite yet.

Fourth, and most importantly, I’ve started making jewelry.  I REALLY like doing this.  I’ve actually become slightly obsessed.  It’s fun, challenging, and creative.  I might even have to put a little show room in my eventual office/shop or set up an online site or something, just to fund my habit.  You’ll see proof of this new interest at the Spring Hootenanny.  I’m crafting a lasso necklace that will be the coveted prize for the Farmer’s Daughter Contest. It’s pretty awesome, so dress up for the show, May 23rd at the Des Moines Social Club (good plug huh?).

Ultimately, I think the move is going well.  I have things I do each week. I’m meeting people. I’m getting involved in different organizations.  It’s been difficult, and there are days when I get worried, when I want a big hug or to hide under the covers, when I miss people in Louisville, when I wonder WTF I’m doing or if I’ve completely screwed up my life, but I suppose that anytime you make a major life change, you’re going to face those feelings. When they come up, I try not to dwell. I remind myself that life is an ongoing journey, mistakes offer chances to grow, and ultimately, I had good reasons for making this leap.  The only other thing I can say is that Des Moines is being welcoming, and I’m figuring it out. That’s life folks, figuring it out from day to day. Thanks for reading.  I promise a fun, pithy post soon.