A little advice to the Iowa GOP

First off, y’all need to simmer down a bit. Y’all starting to sound like the opening monologue for a Hee-Haw rerun. With everything plaguing the GOP’s brand name these days, are they really going to pick a fight with the supreme court of the constitutionality of gay marriage? C’mon, y’all need to get people to forget that conservatives are the ones getting caught giving stale fish hand jobs in airports, soliciting sex from same gender interns, ignorantly running our country into debt and generally using the promise of the end of days as a message to keep us mainstream folk a little sweaty. Before y’all hop back onto that white high horse of morality, y’all need to listen up.

In the past few days, Iowa conservatives have stuck their ugly, sunburned necks out to insist on one point…that allowing gay marriage is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Now, I’d have to go down to the genealogy association and do a little research, but my guess is that the folks who have the biggest issue with gay marriage are the same people who hail from a lineage of folks who didn’t think black people or women should vote, that slavery was a necessary evil and other nonsense that has kept our country divided for decades.

But, while I’m on this path, Chet Culver needs to just give up. I mean seriously, how badly does this guy want to fit in with conservatives? Big Poppa Culver needs to shut his mouth every now and again. He recently told the media that he believes marriage is between a man and a woman. Uh, I don’t remember anyone asking Big Culv to give a definition. The supreme court pretty much settled that argument. He straddles the fence so much, this guy has permanent saddle sores. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why anyone would want to be associated with the GOP. That heyday is long gone.

Opponents of same sex marriage are planning on turning out today at the Capitol building to protest. Protest may be the wrong word. Let me try this again. Opponents of same sex marriage are planning on turning out today at the Capitol building today to spew their hate-filled nonsense and show how incredibly narrow-minded and cowardly they are.

I think this hatred they foster comes from the fear that if everyone could have the same opportunity to be married, that it would somehow lessen how special it is to be trapped in their loveless, abusive marriages. I’d like to head up to the Capitol to see what kinds of people turn out to protest, but my guess is these folks are the absolute bottom-of-the barrel rejects that cling to their deadbeat spouses and god and the promise of holy salvation to make their pointless, dead-end, abomination of a life seem worth living.

And for these folks, I’d like to provide refreshments for their tireless hate…in the form of a Dixie cup of Jim Jones’ Koolaid. Drink up, bitches.

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3 Responses to “A little advice to the Iowa GOP”


  1. 1 botics

    My favorite part about this is that in the bible, people who commit adultery are mentioned in the same breath as “a man that would lay with another man’, AND adultery is a SIN.

    Yet people who commit adultery are divorced and remarry everyday without anyone batting an eye.

    I’m not even a Christian and I feel like I know the Bible and Christ better than any of these fucking mongoloids.

    Also keep in mind that adultery in the time of the bible was limited to only married women. And marriage was a PROPERTY TRANSACTION.

    Man, fuck these people. They want to keep marriage between a man and a woman so that they can keep pretending like they own their woman. “A man owning another man?! That’s preposterous!”

  2. 2 miss nicole

    Mom says “Hoo Rah” and I just fell in love with Botics. That’s some funny shit. Please allow me to be the one dressing up like a naughty stewardess and passing out the cups of cool-aid.

  3. 3 Poopiedrawers

    Why can’t the left get past the Bible in the debate? Just looks like hater to me when they do. No better than the Kansas Christians that come and protest everything in anger. True the right uses the Bible argument a lot but it is true that is written and the Christian faith is at odds anything sinful, and that includes the sin of Christians. It is all sin and deserving of death but God is merciful and gives us every chance to change our wicked ways. Why bash Christians for thier religion, seems narrow minded of the left. Intolerant and exclusive.If everyone was atheist you would not have diversity the left so loves. Yes, adultery is the same as gayness in that it is a sin. Very good Bill. However the Bible says nothing of treating women like property that is a false notion. Things were given to the Bride’s family because as every family member is needed for work and survival back in the day, the family was losing a worker/helper and the Husband compensated the family with honor. The things he gave was a gesture of his love to her, just like spending a wad on diamonds for her now. You should not quote what you don’t know, I say you don”t know the Bible Botics.

    Leftist quit clinging to the Bible. The real debate about gay marriage should be the impending hate speech laws and discrimination to people with religion or not that do not agree with it. The fact that special rights are granted to people that have the exact same rights as everyone else already. They can get married anywhere in America, just not same sex. Nobody is telling Mike and Nick to not make love in their privacy.
    I also declare there is no connection to slavery and that depth of discrimination. If I were African-American I would be furious the media are minimizing the Black plight in America by comparing gays not being able to marry to blacks being whipped, separated, sold, raped, hung. Now that is audacity.
    Can we quit hating and start debating already?

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