white poison industries

people always ask me “yo nine, how you afford them suit coats?”  “where’d you get them expensive looking drawers?” “how you manage to feed yourself week after week without going bankrupt?”  it’s simple.  i follow the nine rules to personal finance.

#9  your checking account, get rid of it.  get an E*Trade account instead.  it’s easy to use and you get a better return.

#8  stop eating out.  dos rios is a fun place to have lunch.  but it’s not more fun than having electricity.

#7  buy used cars.  one at a time.  don’t buy new.  if you buy a new car i’m going to vandalize it.

#6  be prepared for the unexpected.  you gotta have a few months of pay in your back pocket.  and not cuz you need to make it rain at the minx.

#5  make your money work for you.  you’re an american.  you’re gonna spend the rest of your life paying everyone you meet.  pay yourself first.

#4  pay off your credit cards.  a $5,000 credit card balance paid off at a $100 a month takes 9 years to pay off and when it’s all said and done you end up spending $10,000.

#3  use mint.com.  i would call this an unpaid endorsement if it didn’t save me so much goddamn money.

#2  buy this album.  hey, i didn’t say this was all for your personal finance.

#1  spend less than you earn.

that’s all you need to know.  run along now, go fix this bullshit economy.  daddy needs to buy a house.