Now that the weather’s warming up I’ve got new tires on my bike and I’ve been riding to work. For the most part the automobile drivers I share the road with are respectful and cautious. But last night my husband Brandon was harassed by a pair of rednecks in a pickup truck. They first drove up alongside him and tried to startle him in to crashing. When that didn’t work, they followed him, getting menacingly close, shouting epithets. When Brandon turned a corner and disappeared behind a big tree, the guys got out of their truck to look for him.
I suspect these are the same douchebags that pulled the same crap with me late last summer.
Does anybody out there have any advice for dealing with vehicular bullies? I’m seriously considering going Q on my bike and adding some James Bond style sideways rocket launchers and exploding thumb-tack bombs to my bike.













Forgot to mention this in the original post. A coworker of mine who bikes let me know that others might have encountered the same road jerks.
http://www.bikeiowa.com/asp/hotnews/newsdisplay.asp?NewsID=2984
my advice is to keep a camera in your pocket when you bike. get that bastard’s plate and report him. i think you need a permit for rocket launchers.
Alright here is what you need to do. Get a camera, get a kid cart to attach to the back of the bike, put me in the cart with a ball bat, record these two jack holes getting the shit surprised out of them when I get out of the kid cart with a ball bat, bail me out of jail, post the video of them getting “southsided” (ball bat up the wahzoo) on YouTube, have a great laugh.
That’s how I roll.
Good idea! It’ll be a White Poison exclusive video premier if I do get it recorded.
Mace. Let them get close enough to you, mace the shit outta em and then pedal your ass home….fast.
As a redneck I am offended you are using a negative tone when describing them. I was born this way and I cannot help that. I am trying to fit in but this is racist. I would take a picture with my glock if I was you.
Mike is that a southside trunk monkey?
Poopiedrawers: by definition, a redneck is someone who has had every opportunity to assimilate into the more sophisticated culture around him/her and has vehemently chosen not to and gets violent without provocation. I think if you’re “born” this way, that probably makes you more of a hillbilly than a redneck. Hillbillies is more or less benevolent and just want to be left alone to live the life they were born to in the Appalachian hills. They only tend to get aggressive when their property or independent sensibilities are threatened. Rednecks, on the other hand, have a chip on their shoulder about everybody they think is acting superior and tend to lash out at random.
I meant you no personal offense, Poopiedrawers. Rest assured I think of you more as a benevolent hillbilly than as a violent redneck.
My good gods what is happening here? Yes it would be considered a southside trunk monkey. We need to make a video of that!!
hillbilly jim was not benevolent to the honky tonk man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1t3v6i8n1Y
OMG those are the two guys who harassed me! Damn you, Hillbilly Jim!!! Damn you Honky Tonk Man!!! You oughta be ashamed of yourselves, ya washed up nobodies!
I believe “washed up” is a poor choice of words in this instance.
Kelli Thanks for the hillbilly love but I can only hug on blood relatives, sorry.