white poison industries

Want in on some behind-the-scenes Duke? Well, here you go…

1. I’m a Boston Celtics fan. Yeah, I was on the Bulls bus back in the late 80′s/early 90′s, but then again, who wasn’t? If you say that you were a Laker’s fan, you’re lying through your teeth. (As a side note, the Iowa Energy is my favorite Iowa league pastime…I dig the Bucks and the Chops, but it ain’t ball!)

2. There are few goals in my life above growing a Viking beard…you know, the type that seriously drops down to your mid-chest. If I could, I would. I’d be your homeless guy-looking friend. But, I’d be happy as a clam. The two factors that prevent this from being a current reality: Viking-style facial hair not being part of my genetic composition and the fact that I’m not sure how to manage a mane like that yet. Would you shampoo and condition, or just shampoo?

3. There are many things in life that will become blurred memories. The secret code in Contra is not one of these things.

4. When I was a kid, I had a magazine subscription to Soldier of Fortune. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go check out the magazine aisle at Dahl’s or Barnes & Noble. You’ll be amazed at what this 10-year-old was learning at that time.

5. I truly enjoy the music of the Grateful Dead.

6. I have never in my entire life thought that I was even remotely attractive. Its not from low self-esteem or anything, I just think I have a really flawed look. If I’ve ever mentioned anything about myself looking hot, I was joking and if I was laughing with you, it was only to hide those tears of a very sad clown on the inside. I blame this on my childhood dentist who was just trying to get me to cough up the dough for braces. He pretty much made me believe that I wouldn’t even be able to get forest animals to pay attention to me with the jacked up gap in my front teeth.

7. I don’t really have a sad clown inside of me. I’m under the impression that clowns taste like pork and I don’t touch the stuff. Unless its bbq’d clown, then that might be rather tasty.

8. I have started to write 4 books in my life. The problem is that I’m a big fan of magazines and could never get past that I felt like a traitor to even consider writing a book. None have been completed, but that is probably for the best. If I ever do finish a book, it’ll instantly rise to #4 on the NY Times best seller books. Guaranteed!

9. I’m a freak about milk being out of the refrigerator. Also, I cannot drink milk out of cardboard containers. Either of these things will literally send me into a full-on mental break down. You pour the milk at the refrigerator and set it back in. Milk is not something to be left out.

10. I was the co-developer of something called the Midnight Sneak Snack Attack. You may know this as “getting up in the middle of the night to eat some junk.” My efforts have been pushing children and young adults closer and closer to diabetes every year.

11. I only want one tattoo. It would be a giant portrait of my dog on my shoulder. In the tattoo, he’d be looking very stately and would have on a bow tie. The portrait would be a full body image of him and in the background, there would be palm trees, a yacht, stacks of money and an old-school image of an UFO. Don’t ask me why, these are just the realities of my life.

12. I do not drink anything on ice.

13. I own a large and neatly organized collection of comic book trading cards. We’re talking about the first two full sets of Marvel (with the holograms), DC’s first set and the first set of GI Joe cards.

14. As a strange side note, I also collected every happy meal cardboard box I ever ate as a kid. (Age 4 – 11) I finally pitched these away several years ago and approximately a month before I read an article online about someone who was willing to pay top dollar for happy meal boxes from the mid 80′s.

15. Winter is my favorite season, followed by fall.

16. I have an aversion to cloth or string near my mouth. Just the thought of cloth in my mouth makes me a little sick.

17. The number of stocking caps to baseball caps is nearly 5 to 1. I’m not sure how this happened, or why this happened, but the divide is growing.

18. I believe any experience is worthwhile, as long as you end up with a good story.

19. There are few pastimes more beloved that sitting down with an atlas.

20. I love the process of traveling more than the actual vacation itself. I love airports and train stations and car rental places and open roads, etc, etc. The terrorists ruined this aspect of vacationing for me and if I ever have some free time, access to small firearms and a distinct opportunity to kill some terrorists, I may consider the options. (As a side note, the insurance folks say that I have to remind people that I’ve never killed a terrorist and do not condone killing anyone, even terrorists.)